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Comedy Central
Jul 1, 2011 10:00am PDT
. and in tomorrow's news, a french couple is malled by newly orphanned gor la. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody! thank you for joining us. thank you, everybody. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: beautiful, thank you so much, everybody. you're too kind. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, thank you, thank you here, up there, i want to say i had to any half -- thieves who are joining us tonight. hope all your attacks are plus two. nation, tonight you are witnessing history so i hope you all remember where are you right now. for me, i'm right here. (laughter) write that down so i don't forget. because i just flew back from washington, and boy, is my everything tired. (laughter) because today i changed the course of america, appearing before the federal election commission to convince them to let me form colbert superpac. the key issue, folks, would talking about my pac on the air constitute an in-kind donation from viacom forcing
Jun 30, 2011 8:00pm EDT
to fight. >>> and yes to stephen colbert. >> i'm sorry to say, ladies and gentlemen, we won! [ applause ] >> it's so cool to be at super pack that even steven colbert is doing it. >> it's something from a channel called comedy central. >> and, yes, this comedy is really over. >>> good evening from new york. republican senate leader mitch mcconnell had a message for the president today. >> i'd like to invite the president to come to the capitol today, to meet with senate republicans. anytime this afternoon, he's available, to come on up to the capitol and meet with senate republicans. that way he can hear directly from senate republicans directly from senate republicans why what he is proposing will not pass. all of us know that congress isn't going to approve hundreds of billions of dollars in tax hikes. >> mcconnell, who yesterday during the president's press conference, held a phony press conference about a phony constitutional amendment that will never pass, spent today issuing phony invitations to the president and making phony references to what he calls tax hikes. the current repu
Jul 1, 2011 4:30am EDT
on this friday. > coming up next, it is no joke. gets an stephen colbert light from the government for his own political action committee. and d a check of traffic weather every 10 minutes. we'll be right back. here we go on this friday morning. 4:53. adam caskey here. let's get to our local forecast d then we'll jump into the beach forecast. temperatures, 64 in the district. cumberland. not too humid. temperatures right near 90 degrees. hot, upcoming weekend, uncomfortable. id 90's in some locations. heat and humidity back with a engeance over the weekend. orms, the best chance sunday night into early monday. pretty much s, e same but a few degrees cooler. chance of rain. high temperatures in the mid 80's saturday. d monday. sunday an enjoy if you're headed for a hort week. to go out on the esapeake bay on our boat and bob around and not move too much. right now, is trafficking? sure and more of it too. pretty good between centerville and the beltway. 270 good. 109 to w from this, 495. we'll have more from the geico raffic cameras in a little ile but now back to news desk. >> thank you mu
Comedy Central
Jul 11, 2011 11:30pm PDT
a researcher into bed. this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: wow! >> stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody! good to have you with us. i got to tell you, that chant -- that chant was so good, that if i did not know better i would have thought you just practiced that. (laughter) nation, i hope you had a great fourth of july. i did. i blowed up [bleep] real good. (cheers and applause) i celebrated with my annual fireworks show. i like to make it big enough to be seen from england. sends a message. (laughter) but enough about me, folks. let's get to the big news, me. you see before the break the fec gave me permission to form colbert superpac and collect unlimited donations. when i merged from that crowd my g-string was stuffed with dollar bills. and i wasn't even wearing a g-string when i started. so thanks to whoever donated that. and the media reaction has b
Comedy Central
Jul 28, 2011 11:30pm PDT
. (laughter) nation, stay sauron, stay. nation, 29 days ago colbert superpac began its mission of making a better tomorrow tomorrow. and that mission is as important now now as it was then then. we have received donations from over 10,000 nameless heroes whose names are right down here. but i want to salute two new members of the colbert youth corps who sent me this letter. they scribble dear stephen cole better the first time we saw you you were the assistance sports psychologist for the u.s. speed skating team giving advice to a skater's butt. our parents record your show and let us watch the best parts. the letter concludes, thank you for reading this. have a great summer sincerely charlie, 10, and grace 8. ps, we collected money for your superpac. (cheers and applause) and here it is. $13. (cheers and applause) you know, folks, sometimes you forget why you do what you do. (laughter) here it is. it's for the children that i want to receive unlimited monies that can then be used to tamper with the 2012 elections. so nation, it is time time to make an addition to the crawl of heroes, le
Comedy Central
Jul 5, 2011 10:00am PDT
band stephen and the colberts. you may remember us from our billboard-eligible hit, "charlene - i'm right behind you." jim? ♪ i think of you and i dream of you when i'm taking pictures of you. ♪ i think of you when i'm in a plant looking down from up above you ♪ ♪ you know i'm missing you ♪ my mind is kissing you [cheers and applause] >> stephen: i did not -- [cheers and applause] thank you. it did not win a grammy but it did win a restraining order. [laughter] recently i decided that it was time for me to jump back into the music biz-iz-ness. but first i needed a superstar producer to launch my comeback. and i found former. white stripe and nine-time grammy-winning rock guitar god jack white. ♪ white recently started his own production company, third man records, clearly the perfect person to turn this person from a has been into a has is. [laughter] tonight, i bring you part one of my three part series stephen colbert presents 2001 and one a rock odyssey. to revive my career i journeyed to nashville, tennessee, nash vegas, music city and home of third man records. i
Jun 30, 2011 11:00pm PDT
. >>> and coming up. the fcc gives stephen colbert the green light to start a political action committee. you could say he's officially a pacman. to sort of mark the occasion we're going to show you the time that we put him on the ridiculist. it's one of our the ridiculist classics. [ male announcer ] the network -- a network of possibilities. in here, the planned combination of at&t and t-mobile would deliver our next generation mobile broadband experience to 55 million more americans, many in small towns and rural communities, giving them a new choice. we'll deliver better service, with thousands of new cell sites... for greater access to all the things you want, whenever you want them. it's the at&t network... and what's possible in here is almost impossible to say. you want that? you want a warm, super-delicious strawberry toaster strudel yeah but now i have nothing to eat sure you do. hey! you can have the pop tart! pillsbury toaster strudel. the one kids want to eat took some wild risks when i was young. but i was still taking a risk with my cholesterol. anyone with high cholesterol
Jul 1, 2011 5:30am EDT
had to say about those. and steven colbert goes to washington. he's now the proud owner of a super pack. so what does one do with his own super pack? we'll hear from mr. colbert. first let's get to the news live at 5:30 a.m. at 30 rock in new york city. >>> just in overnight, prosecutors in the sexual assault case against former imf chief dominique strauss-kahn say the case could be on the verge of collapse as questions about the credibility of the accuser grow. for the latest on this, we bring in cnbc's scott kohn live outside the courthouse in manhatt manhattan. what's going on? >> reporter: this is a potentially stunning reversal for dominique strauss-kahn. late yesterday afternoon we got word that there would be an unscheduled hearing in the case. he wasn't due back in court until july 18th. then we found out it was about his bail. then the explosive report first in the "new york times" yesterday that this case, this sexual assault case against him could be on the verge of collapse. the problem -- the hotel made who made the accusations has a lot of holes in her story. both bef
Comedy Central
Jun 30, 2011 7:30pm PDT
opens a window. clearly, he's not the one paying for air conditioning. [laughter] this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ["the colbert report" theme music playing] [cheers and applause] thank you very much. [cheers and applause] [crowd channeling stephen] --] crowd chanting stephen] welcome to the report. good to have you with us. please sit down. [cheers and applause] i know you are excited. the holidays are coming up. folks, monday is july fourth, named for our four fathers: george. benjamin, thomas, and ringo. [laughter] i always check my calendar to find out what day it falls on, and this year, it's on july 4th. wow, feels like it's getting earlier and earlier every year. there are so many great traditions. of course, every year, i take the kids out and we cut down an american flagpole. take it home, put it up, and decorate it with flags. [laughter] not everyone loves america like i do. i'm sad to say. so unfortunately it's time once again for 4th of july under attack! [cheers and applause] little known factoid: they're called roman candles because jes
Jun 30, 2011 11:00pm EDT
in a manhattan townhouse. >>> no joke is here, stephen colbert now has power to make a big impact on next year's election. up next we'll explain the victory the comedian scored on capitol hill today. >>> and check out some of the other stories in our rundown tonight. the news edge at 11:00 is coming right back. >> this is fox 5 news edge at 11:00.  >>> mr. colbert comes to washington to make a point about campaign finance regulation. today comedian stephen colbert won approval from the federal election commission to start his own political action committee. the colbert super pac will allow the tv host to raise unlimited cash from conformations and individuals. the recent supreme court ruling allows corporations to spend unlimited amounts of money on elections. >> some people have cynically asked if this some kind of joke? i for one don't think that participating in democracy is a joke. i don't think that wanting to know what the rules are is a joke. >> the cash will be used to support or oppose candidates in the 2012 elections. the commission also said colbert can use
Jun 30, 2011 10:00pm PDT
, the fcc gives stephen colbert the go-ahead to start a political action committee. you could say he's a pacman. we'll show you the time we put him on the ridiculist. it's one of our the ridiculist classics. carol. fiber makes me sad. oh common. and how can you talk to me about fiber while you are eating a candy bar? you enjoy that. i am. [ male announcer ] fiber beyond recognition. fiber one. comes centrum. with vitamins and minerals balanced to support your energy... ♪ ...immune function... ♪ ...healthy skin... and help protect your cells from environmental stress. everyday benefits from advanced formulas. the complete benefits of centrum. and if you're over 50, discover the age-adjusted benefits of centrum silver. and if you're over 50, helps defends against occasional justconstipation, diarrhea,alth probiotic cap a day gas and bloating. with three strains of good bacteria to help balance your colon. you had me at "probiotic." [ female announcer ] phillips' colon health. agents, what did we learn here today? that lint balls are extremely flammable... ...that's why it's importa
Jul 2, 2011 3:00pm PDT
a better job this time than he did last time. >> and stephen colbert sets up a political action committee. is it just political satire or is he serious? stay with us. losing your chex mix too easily? time to deploy the chex mix boring potato chip decoy bag. now no one will want to steal the deliciousness. with a variety of tastes and textures, only chex mix is a bag of interesting. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ introducing purina one beyond a new food for your cat or dog. the motorola expert from sprint. its powerful tools help you work faster and smarter so you can get back to playing "angry birds." it lets you access business forms on the go, fire off e-mails with the qwerty keypad, and work securely around the world so you can get back to playing "angry birds." it's the android-powered phone that mixes business with pleasure. so let's get our work done, america, so we can all get back to playing "angry birds." the motorola expert from sprint. trouble hearing on the phone? visit >>> let's get back to my interview with bill clinton as we turn to politics and the race for the white hou
Jul 21, 2011 8:00pm EDT
, stephen colbert actually breaks character, and for depend reason. we'll show you the tape. stephen colbert as you have never seen him before. challenge that with olay regenerist night elixir. its gentle glycolic formula resurfaces at night for the smooth skin of a light chemical peel. sleep tight. regenerist, from olay. with listerine® whitening plus restoring rinse. it's the only listerine® that gets teeth two shades whiter and makes tooth enamel two times stronger. get dual-action listerine® whitening rinse. building whiter, stronger teeth. get dual-action listerine® whitening rinse. diabetes testing? it's all the same. nothing changes. then try this. freestyle lite® blood glucose test strip. sure, but it's not gonna-- [beep] wow. yep, that's the patented freestyle zipwik™ design. did it just-- [both] target the blood? yeah, drew it right in. the test starts fast. you need just a third the blood of one touch.® that is different. so freestyle lite test strips make testing... easy? easy. great. call or click-- we'll send you strips and a meter, free. free is good. freestyle lite te
Jul 21, 2011 11:00pm EDT
certainly did not throw negotiators a lifeline today. >>> and later, stephen colbert actually breaks character, and for depend reason. we'll show you the tape. stephen colbert as you have never seen him before. 3q we love the sun ! i love this slide ! i love knowing coppertone protects across 100% of the uva/uvb spectrum. i trust it. and pediatricians recommend it most. i love this nose. coppertone. embrace the sun. >>> this morning, "the washington post" published a portion of an interview its editorial board conducted with american for tax reforms president grover norquist, whose pledge, signed by nearly every republican in congress, binds them to never raise taxes in any form. "the post's" ruth markus asked president norquist if allowing the bush tax cuts to expire at the end of 2012 would violate that pledge. not continuing a tax cut is not technically a tax increase. mr. norquist told us. so it doesn't violate the pledge? we wouldn't hold it that way, he said. norquist had pointed out that republicans could allow the bush tax cuts to expire and raise government revenue by as muc
Jul 22, 2011 3:00am EDT
. >>> and later, stephen colbert actually breaks character, and for depend reason. we'll show you the tape. stephen colbert as you have never seen him before. i was having so much trouble getting around, i thought, end of the line... i was headed to a nursing home. well, i'm staying in my own home now, because we chose hoveround! hoveround's compact round design makes it easier for you to maneuver through the tight spaces in your home. and best of all, 9 out of 10 people pay little or nothing for their hoveround, so call now and you can be the next to pay... zero...i paid nothing for the unit at all. and now only from hoveround, every power chair includes a handy tote bag, so you'll always have access to your favorite items and this sturdy cup holder, so your favorite beverage can ride along with you! the folks at hoveround really thought of everything. that's why i called them and so should you. call them right now! get your free dvd kit by going to >>> this morning, "the washington post" published a portion of an interview its editorial board conducted with american for ta
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 201 (some duplicates have been removed)